Personal Agency and How to Take Back Control

Understanding personal agency is the first step toward taking back control of your life and career. It is the powerful belief that you are the driver, not a passenger, in your own journey. Many people ask, what does it mean to have agency? It means recognizing that while you cannot control every event, you have the power to choose your response. This guide will explore to have agency meaning in a practical sense, helping you build self agency and reach full potential even when faced with challenges.
Key Takeaways
• Personal agency is the belief that you can influence your life through your own choices and actions.
• Low agency often manifests as chronic anxiety and is linked to a fixed mindset, while high agency is linked to a growth mindset.
• You can actively build agency using tools like open-ended questions and by taking ownership of small, consistent commitments.

To Have Agency Meaning in Real Life
In daily life, to have agency means you see yourself as a cause, not just an effect. It is the subjective awareness that you are initiating, executing, and controlling your own volitional actions in the world [1]. This feeling of being in command of your life is fundamental to well-being, motivation, and achieving a good working relationship with yourself and others. It is the foundation upon which a fulfilling life is built.

Self Agency (Definition): Self agency is the internal conviction that you possess the capacity to influence your environment and direct the course of your life through your own intentional choices and actions.
Agency vs complete control
It is crucial to distinguish between personal agency and the illusion of complete control. Agency is about focusing on what you can influence—your thoughts, your effort, your responses. In contrast, the desire for complete control is an attempt to manage things outside your power, such as others’ reactions or external outcomes. This distinction is the difference between empowerment and frustration.

Signs Your Agency Is Low
When your sense of personal agency is diminished, it can manifest in subtle yet pervasive ways. You might feel like you are constantly reacting to life rather than creating it. This can lead to a feeling of being stuck or powerless, which undermines both your professional performance and your personal happiness. Recognizing these signs is the first step toward rebuilding your sense of control.

Chronic anxiety decisions
A common sign of low agency is chronic anxiety, especially when making decisions. If you find yourself endlessly deliberating over choices, fearing you will make the “wrong” one, it may be because you have lost touch with your internal compass. This anxiety stems from a belief that external factors, rather than your own capabilities, will determine the outcome, leading to decision paralysis.
Outsourcing choices
Another indicator of low agency is the habit of outsourcing choices to others. This can look like constantly asking for advice before taking action, relying on a partner or manager to make decisions for you, or following a path someone else has prescribed. While seeking input is healthy, consistently deferring to others erodes your ability to trust your own judgment and build self-reliance.
What Builds Self Agency
Building self agency is an intentional process of shifting your mindset and behaviors. It involves cultivating habits that reinforce your belief in your own effectiveness. Two of the most powerful pillars for building agency are developing a growth mindset and practicing ownership in your daily actions.
Growth mindset habits
A growth mindset, a concept developed by psychologist Carol Dweck, is the belief that your abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work [2]. This contrasts with a fixed mindset, which assumes abilities are static. Adopting a growth mindset is fundamental to agency because it reframes challenges as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than as threats to your inherent worth.
Taking ownership means accepting responsibility for your choices and their outcomes, both good and bad. It is the opposite of blaming external circumstances or other people. When you practice ownership, you internalize the belief that your actions matter. This creates a powerful feedback loop, known as The Agency Cycle, where awareness of choice leads to action, which in turn reinforces your sense of ownership and control.
The 5-Step Agency Rebuild Framework
Rebuilding your sense of agency after a setback or a period of feeling stuck is a structured process. Following a clear framework can help you act differently and regain your footing. This 5-step process provides a reliable path from feeling powerless to empowered:
- Acknowledge & Accept: Start by acknowledging where you are without judgment. Accept the situation and your feelings about it. This is not resignation; it is the necessary starting point for any change.
- Identify Your Sphere of Influence: Get specific about what is within your control and what is not. Make a list. You cannot control the economy, but you can control how you manage your budget.
- Take back control of your life.
- Take Immediate Action: Execute on that one small choice immediately. This creates momentum and provides your brain with immediate evidence of your agency. Action is the antidote to anxiety.
- Reflect & Repeat: After taking action, reflect on the outcome. Notice that you made a choice and something happened as a result. Use this feeling of accomplishment to fuel your next small choice. Repeat the cycle.
Tools That Increase Agency
Fortunately, personal agency is like a muscle it can be strengthened with consistent practice. There are practical tools you can use to move from a state of feeling stuck to one of empowerment. These tools help you expand your perspective, build momentum, and reinforce your role as the author of your life.
Open ended questions practice
One of the most effective ways to increase agency is to ask yourself open ended questions. Instead of asking, "Can I do this?" (a closed question), ask, "How can I do this?" This simple shift opens up possibilities and moves your brain into a creative, problem-solving mode. It presupposes that a solution exists and positions you as the one to find it.
Small commitments
Rebuilding agency does not require massive leaps. It is built on the foundation of small, kept promises to yourself. Make a small commitment like dedicating 15 minutes to a project or having a difficult conversation, and follow through. Each time you do, you provide your brain with concrete evidence that you are capable and reliable, which builds self-trust and agency over time.
"Personal agency isn’t about having all the power; it’s about recognizing the power you’ve always had. It’s the shift from asking ‘What will happen to me?’ to declaring ‘What will I do next?’" - Kasia Siwosz, Leadership & Agency Coach
Agency in Leadership
For leaders, a strong sense of personal agency is not just beneficial—it is essential. A leader with high agency is more resilient, decisive, and better equipped to navigate uncertainty. They also model empowered behavior for their teams, creating a culture where everyone is encouraged to take ownership and contribute to their full potential.
Good working boundaries
A key aspect of agency in leadership is maintaining good working boundaries. This means protecting your time and energy, saying no to requests that fall outside your priorities, and clearly communicating your expectations. Strong boundaries are a clear signal that you are in control of your own agenda, which inspires confidence and respect from your team.
Coaching Support for Agency
Developing personal agency can be a transformative but challenging journey. Coaching provides a dedicated space to explore your mindset, identify limiting beliefs, and build the habits that foster a strong sense of self-efficacy.

Accountability and follow through
A coach acts as an accountability partner, helping you stay focused on your goals and follow through on your commitments. This external support is invaluable when you are working to break old patterns of passivity and build new habits of ownership. Through consistent action and reflection, coaching helps you internalize a lasting sense of personal agency.
FAQ
What does it mean to have agency?
To have agency means you believe you have control over your actions and their consequences. It is the sense that you are the author of your own life, capable of making choices and influencing outcomes, rather than being a passive recipient of external circumstances.
How do you build self agency when you feel stuck?
Start small. Identify one tiny area of your life where you can make a choice and act on it. This could be as simple as choosing what to eat for lunch or deciding to go for a 5-minute walk. Each small, intentional action serves as proof to yourself that you are in control, building momentum to tackle larger areas where you feel stuck.
What reduces personal agency in high pressure work?
Micromanagement, unclear expectations, and a culture that punishes failure can all severely reduce personal agency. When employees feel they have no autonomy or that their choices do not matter, they often disengage and adopt a passive stance, waiting to be told what to do.
How do open ended questions increase agency?
Open ended questions (like "What are my options?" or "How could I approach this differently?") shift your brain from a state of threat and limitation to one of creativity and possibility. They force you to think actively about solutions, reinforcing your role as a capable problem-solver.
How do you rebuild agency after setbacks?
Focus on what you can learn from the experience (a growth mindset approach) and identify one small, forward-moving step you can take. Avoid blaming yourself or others, and instead, take ownership of your next move. Rebuilding agency is about focusing on the future, not dwelling on the past.
Can coaching help you develop personal agency at work?
Absolutely. Coaching is a powerful tool for developing personal agency. A coach can help you identify where you are giving away your power, challenge limiting beliefs, and develop concrete strategies for taking more ownership in your role. To learn more, explore our Coaching services.
What is the difference between agency and complete control?
Agency is the realistic and empowering focus on what you can influence (your actions, thoughts, and responses). Complete control is the unrealistic and anxiety-inducing attempt to manage things you cannot influence (other people’s feelings, all external events). Agency leads to empowerment; the pursuit of complete control leads to chronic anxiety.
References
[1] APA Dictionary of Psychology: Sense of Agency
[2] Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck











